The Real Marty

I’m enjoying the idea of disappearing into different worlds right now, I’m walking around in an Alice in Wonderland tshirt whilst searching for Pokemon and I just don’t care. There’s so much rubbish in this world that any means of escape seems like an oasis in a scorching hot desert.

I have recently bought a Cheshire Cat tshirt that’s a bit dark looking and it made me look for the original story as I had heard the films and new books had been tamed. A few pages in and it’s already more messed up than the story already is to me. What a wonderful idea being able to fall down a rabbit hole into another world.

I’m a clown juggling the life I want and the life I need, I can have both but that depends on how well I can juggle. Im not the only one around me struggling to juggle, everyone is changing jobs and trying to decide where to go now. We have had a quite spell with the band and we wanna get going again. I want to be the one with the answers to help but, I’m not sure I have quite finished working them out myself. I love to help others and be the “rock” the one who has got it together but it’s really all smoke and mirrors a lot of the time.

I am the master of becoming someone else, oh Mr Mayhem was around for quite some time. The confident in your face rock star who wouldn’t let no one or nothing stand in his way. He never made it off the stage tho and I never let him consume me like others let their alter egos consume them. I have been trying to ditch that for a while now because I want to connect with people as much as I can and that’s only possible when you are 100% being yourself.

OFF WITH MY HAIR!! I am ushering in a new me where I hope all aspects of my life will come together, or that’s what I hope. I am that guy that ain’t afraid to like Alice in wonderland, I am that slightly emo looking dude (which I don’t think looks too shabby) and I can still be that punk guy challenging everything through his music. I want to be everything everyone wants me to be and I can be all of that because I can be anyone I want to be, and I want to be all those people all at once. I don’t want to hide parts of myself from people. I am the whole puzzle not just the piece you approve of.

I like dramatic changes, I have a thirst for feeling I have acheived stuff and I struggle with making myself feel I have made others proud of me. A new look or style, providing proof I follow the path that’s set before me. Sometimes I run away to wonderland and forget everything exists but then I can get my head round things and come back stronger than ever before. Recently I have been escaping to wonderland to forget life and find out what I really want.

Me and Britoni are saving and working towards buying a house and we plan eventually to have a little one or two running around for which I need security and a decent job however I know you need an escape and to do the things you enjoy. A good friend of mine I lost to cancer once said “you got to follow your dreams” and I don’t think I will ever stop, he wouldn’t have wanted me to stop.

So if you don’t like the arty, wonderland seeking, Batman obsessed, sonic loving, emo looking, business man, punk rocker with an opinion and a little bit of an attitude then you know where the door is.

I am Marty and I am the whole jigzaw puzzle.

Im gonna make it.